Sunday, July 23, 2006

big surprise- boys suck

Yeah so none of my retarded boys are doing it for me. I mean its like if they were combined they would be fine. But no they can't be and the all suck in their own respects. Just wanted to vent because yeah thats what I do.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Weight loss

I was reading another blog, http://shewalks.blogspot.com/ and she was talking about weight loss. When I was reading her post I really felt like I understood what she was talking about. In short her entry was about how she doesn't really have the motivation to lose weight. I completely agree. I am also having trouble finding motivation to stop eating the bad food and realy finishing the last bit of my weight loss. I mean I am only 25 pounds away from my goal. I know I can make it if I just stick to my diet and keep my mouth shut. The fact that I've been able to sustain my weight for almost 3 months is really great, but I would really like to lose the rest before christmas.

I guess the reason I don't feel motivated is because I thought, like Kristy, if I lost weight my entire life would change. I thought that losing weight and being thin was going to effect everything. In the end it only let me wear smaller clothing. I mean not that it was all bad, but I was expecting much more. I thought it would help me be more attractive to guys, that people would want to spend more time with me, but no..none of those things happened. This is why I am so stuck on my current weight.

I want to get motivated, don't get me wrong, but there have been so many things going on in my life right now that it has been really hard for me to stay on course. I mean the whole moving deal screwed up my schedule, as well as working the odd hours and having catering/crafty on set. Also just dealing with moving into my own life. Its hard and its not like I don't mind challenges, but I feel very lost and right now my energy is being used to deal with that little crisis rather then focusing on my eating.

However all is not lost. Since I am now at my aunt house it might be a little easier. She said she is going to start back onto weight watchers again so that will be good for me to have the good food in the house. However as nice as that sounds my aunt and I are notorious for not sticking to our diets. We will randomly go out to eat and it is bad.

I think if I had felt like there was some little victory I had gotten or that I had gotten more out of my weight loss then just losing weight I might feel more motivated. Well I just have to organize my life and get back onto the diet. I know I can do it which is the hard part. And 25 pounds is not that much weight considering how much I have already lost. I think Christmas is a conservative goal. In the next month I want to get down to 173. I really think actually having it written down helps me.

I can and will make my one month goal. It helps me to have goals because I am very competitive and even though I am up against myself, I still know I can get it done.