Saturday, June 03, 2006


For some reason I have really felt like writing often. I guess it helps me get out my thoughts and feelings. Right now I am sitting at home, alone. It makes me sad. Its hard that the new boy has not really called today. I am trying not to be clingy and needy, but it is so weird that every other day I get tons of texts and then today I get nothing. I feel kind of used, but not because of what we talked about what he is looking for and what I am looking for. I wish I didn't care about if he thinks about me or not. I want to be able to live my life and not think about him at all.

I wish I had a little more of a life. I want to work, that is the annoying part. I want to get out there and be a hard working person. I want to make my parents and family proud of me. I want to show them I can live here without their help.

There are so many things I want to change about myself. I think I can make this happen if I really want to. I just have to focus. And whatever happens with the boy I'll deal with as it comes.


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